Dave BarryDave Barry, (1947- ) Humorist

Dave Barry Quote

“As a taxpayer, you are required to be fully in compliance with the United States Tax Code, which is currently the size and weight of the Budweiser Clydesdales.”

Dave BarryDave Barry
~ Dave Barry

Ratings and Comments

Joel, Rochester, MI

Funny, but Dave doesn't understand. He presumes, as does the IRS, that every US citizen is a taxpayer. I continue asking the IRS (for 8+ years) what makes me liable for any taxes and what is their authority to collect. The [kinder and gentler] IRS simply ignores my questions, and threatens to seize my home and bank accounts without due process. Funny...huh?

john-douglas, nassau

May the Budweiser Clydesdales trot all over the front lawns of the IRS persecutors.

J Carlton, Calgary

I don't think its fair to compare those fine animals with something so criminal. I'm guessing the Clydesdales would make a lot more sense though.

Mike, Norwalk

I've heard concerning taxes, when the weight of the airplane equals the weight of the paperwork, its time to take off. I guess that's true because the size and weight of the questions are that of the Budweiser Clydesdales. Joe, yep, and not funny haha!

jim k, austin

I doubt that anyone in or out of the IRS understands the tax code. Joke of the day: Obama says he wants to simplify the tax code. Would anyone like to take a bet on this?

J Carlton, Calgary

Jim K....he'll probably simplify it to: "Did you make any money? Give it to us or we'll take everything else including your children"

E Archer, NYC

Actually, only those with Social Security numbers have any obligation to file tax returns -- that is a condition of this number. Don't get one, and don't get numbers for your kids.

M. Brown, Florida

Hmmm, Not every US citizen pays taxes, we saw that in Washington a lot of late, but 100% of noncitizens don't pay taxes. Carlton, soon they'll want the kids...and Jim, no cause your right, it's better for him if he doesn't but it wouldn't take much to "CHANGE".

  • Reply
    Anon    4/25/09

    Archer, you've brought up an interesting bit of truth with the SS number. I understand that parents are getting them for their children BEFORE they take them home from hospital. I wonder what the result if the parent refused to sign the paperwork? Hmm.

    Mike, Norwalk

    Anon, the hospitals get SSNs automatically without permission (bill for 2 aspirins, get SSN, charge for 2 days in hospital, etc.). If a child is born in the hospital, the parents would have to sue to have the hospital place a removal order in. The SSN stays the same (but inactive - so they've told me) until it is used just once. My children were all born at home while, speaking from experience concerning other families; even if the parents write a form and say they do not want an SSN for their new born - oops, it happens anyway.

    Anonymous, SMITH

    That's nothing. You also have to be in compliance with every law in every jurisdiction throughout the universe. Like the Psalmist says "Lord I love your laws give me more"!

    Ronw13, Oregon

    Taxes on a Post Card Coming Soon ! President Donald Trump is in a Roll Back position. Brave indeed, to do, what some politicians only talk about but never have the Courage to do. Simplify, deregulate, dismantle and reentrenchment of Common Sense measures. We all pay excise taxes, The independent contractor on the other hand, afforded a voluntary choice by right of Liberty, concerning direct tax upon his or herself.


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