Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Comment on this quote Share via Email Print this Page [201-220] of 386 Humor quotesHumor QuotesHumor Previous 20 quotes Next 20 quotes All men are frauds. The only difference between them is that some admit it. I myself deny it.~ H. L. Mencken Unquestionably, there is progress. The average American now pays out twice as much in taxes as he formerly got in wages.~ H. L. Mencken Faith may be defined briefly as an illogical belief in the occurence of the improbable.~ H. L. Mencken Judge: a law student who marks his own papers.~ H. L. Mencken The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.~ H. L. Mencken The biggest conspiracy has always been the fact that there is no conspiracy. Nobody's out to get you. Nobody gives a shit whether you live or die. There, you feel better now?~ Dennis Miller To be absolutely certain about something, one must know everything or nothing about it.~ Olin Miller Welcome to the U.S. Capitol: Watch for falling expectations.~ Wiley Miller You won't find average Americans on the left or on the right. You'll find them at Kmart.~ Zell Miller When it is a duty to worship the sun it is pretty sure to be a crime to examine the laws of heat.~ John Viscount Morley The freedom of any society varies proportionately with the volume of its laughter.~ Zero Mostel The reason there are so few female politicians is that it is too much trouble to put makeup on two faces.~ Maureen Murphy The obscure we see eventually. The completely obvious, it seems, takes longer.~ Edward R. Murrow Crime does not pay...as well as politics.~ Alfred E. Newman In Christianity neither morality nor religion come into contact with reality at any point.~ Friedrich Nietzsche It is necessary for me to establish a winner image. Therefore, I have to beat somebody.~ Richard M. Nixon If you think the United States has stood still, who built the largest shopping center in the world?~ Richard M. Nixon When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators.~ P. J. O'Rourke There’s a whiff of the lynch mob or the lemming migration about any over-large concentration of like-minded individuals, no matter how virtuous their cause.~ P. J. O'Rourke Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.~ P. J. O'Rourke Previous 20 quotes Next 20 quotes Share on Facebook Tweet Email Print