Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Comment on this quote Share via Email Print this Page [321-340] of 386 Humor quotesHumor QuotesHumor Previous 20 quotes Next 20 quotes It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either.~ Mark Twain No man's life, liberty, or property are safe while the congress is in session.~ Mark Twain Truth is mighty and will prevail. There is nothing the matter with this, except that it ain't so.~ Mark Twain We are discreet sheep; we wait to see how the drove is going, and then go with the drove. We have two opinions: one private, which we are afraid to express; and another one - the one we use - which we force ourselves to wear to please Mrs. Grundy, until habit makes us comfortable in it, and the custom of defending it presently makes us love it, adore it, and forget how pitifully we came by it. Look at it in politics.~ Mark Twain Censorship is telling a man he can't have a steak just because a baby can't chew it.~ Mark Twain When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.~ Mark Twain Don't go around saying the world owes you a living; the world owes you nothing; it was here first.~ Mark Twain I am different from Washington; I have a higher, grander standard of principle. Washington could not lie. I can lie, but I won't.~ Mark Twain Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.~ Mark Twain The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.~ Mark Twain If you don't read the newspaper you are uninformed; if you do read the newspaper you are misinformed.~ Mark Twain Whenever you find you are on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.~ Mark Twain We are discreet sheep; we wait to see how the drove is going, and then go with the drove.~ Mark Twain Fleas can be taught nearly anything that a Congressman can.~ Mark Twain Often, the surest way to convey information is to tell the strict truth.~ Mark Twain Truth is the most valuable thing we have, so I try to conserve it.~ Mark Twain All Congresses and Parliaments have a kindly feeling for idiots, and a compassion for them, on account of personal experience and heredity.~ Mark Twain Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest.~ Mark Twain There is no distinctly native American criminal class save Congress.~ Mark Twain There is something fascinating about science. One gets such wholesale returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of fact.~ Mark Twain Previous 20 quotes Next 20 quotes Share on Facebook Tweet Email Print