Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Comment on this quote Share via Email Print this Page [261-280] of 386 Humor quotesHumor QuotesHumor Previous 20 quotes Next 20 quotes There is good news from Washington today. The Congress is deadlocked and can't act.~ Will Rogers You shake a slogan at an American and it's just like showing a hungry dog a bone.~ Will Rogers Instead of giving money to found colleges to promote learning, why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as good as the Prohibition one did, why, in five years we would have the smartest race of people on earth!~ Will Rogers There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.~ Will Rogers The saving grace of America lies in the fact that the overwhelming majority of Americans are possessed of two great qualities -- a sense of humor and a sense of proportion.~ Franklin D. Roosevelt When they call the roll in the Senate, the Senators do not know whether to answer 'present' or 'not guilty.'~ Theodore Roosevelt When the state intervenes to insure the indoctrination of some doctrine, it does so because there is no conclusive evidence in favor of that doctrine.~ Bertrand Russell What's the difference between a bright, inquisitive five-year-old, and a dull, stupid nineteen-year-old? Fourteen years of the British educational system.~ Bertrand Russell I pray that no child of mine would ever descend into such a place as a library. They are indeed most dangerous places and unfortunate is she or he who is lured into such a hellhole of enjoyment, stimulus, facts, passion and fun.~ Willy Russell Morons hate it when you call them a moron.~ J. D. Salinger If we can ever make red tape nutritional, we can feed the world.~ Robert Schaeberle If you want to know the big 'T' Truth, tell the little 't' truth without fail. Then listen closely to what you say.~ Eric Schaub The more I truly learn, I realize the less I truly know.~ Eric Schaub Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia.~ Charles M. Schulz A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.~ George Bernard Shaw Democracy is a form of government that substitutes election by the incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few.~ George Bernard Shaw Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.~ George Bernard Shaw A socialist is somebody who doesn't have anything, and is ready to divide it up equally among everybody.~ George Bernard Shaw A fool's brain digests philosophy into folly, science into superstition, and art into pedantry. Hence University education.~ George Bernard Shaw Women upset everything. When you let them into your life, you find that the woman is driving at one thing and you're driving at another.~ George Bernard Shaw Previous 20 quotes Next 20 quotes Share on Facebook Tweet Email Print