Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Comment on this quote Share via Email Print this Page [21-40] of 386 Humor quotesHumor QuotesHumor Previous 20 quotes Next 20 quotes As a taxpayer, you are required to be fully in compliance with the United States Tax Code, which is currently the size and weight of the Budweiser Clydesdales.~ Dave Barry I promise you a police car on every sidewalk.~ Mayor Marion Barry If you take out the killings, Washington actually has a very, very low crime rate.~ Mayor Marion Barry I am making this trip to Africa because Washington is an international city, just like Tokyo, Nigeria or Israel. As mayor, I am an international symbol. Can you deny that to Africa?~ Mayor Marion Barry The contagious people of Washington have stood firm against diversity during this long period of increment weather.~ Mayor Marion Barry Taxation with representation ain't so hot either.~ Gerald Barzan Provided I do not write about the government, or about religion, or politics, or morals, or those in power, or public bodies, or the Opera, or the other state theatres, or about anybody who is active in anything, I can print whatever I want.~ Pierre-Augustin Beaumarchais As long as I don't write about the government, religion, politics, and other institutions, I am free to print anything.~ Pierre-Augustin Beaumarchais We are all born mad. Some remain so.~ Samuel Beckett Politics is the art of looking for trouble,finding it whether it exists or not, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy. ~ Ernest Benn If the world were perfect, it wouldn't be.~ Yogi Berra An election is nothing more than the advanced auction of stolen goods.~ Ambrose Bierce Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding.~ Ambrose Bierce The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.~ Ambrose Bierce History is an account mostly false, of events mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.~ Ambrose Bierce Faith: Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel.~ Ambrose Bierce Optimism: The doctrine that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly, everything good, especially the bad, and everything right that is wrong. ... It is hereditary, but fortunately not contagious.~ Ambrose Bierce Vote: The instrument and symbol of a free man's power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.~ Ambrose Bierce Alliance: In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other's pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.~ Ambrose Bierce Heathen, n. A benighten creature who has the folly to worship something that he can see and feel.~ Ambrose Bierce Previous 20 quotes Next 20 quotes Share on Facebook Tweet Email Print